Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize