there was a trapeze. enough said
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
