tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
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