when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
