I want to have your abortion
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
