At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
