question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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