Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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