Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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