He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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