What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
