i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
