my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
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