I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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