47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
