If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
How's work?
Spinning.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
