why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
