none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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