She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
