just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
