Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I can't turn off my feet"
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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