Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
You need Xanax blowdarts
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
