we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
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