my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
