Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
