So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Couch. On fire.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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