That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
