She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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