We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
