Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
