if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
