Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
