I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
