i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
