ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
