pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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