Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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