It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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