It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
