Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
