A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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