We need to start having sex underwater more often.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
she told me i tasted like america
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
