Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
