I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
