is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
