I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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