I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
