This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
