Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
It's blow job season.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize
