so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
