please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
