She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize