I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
My day in three words: secret purse cake
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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