you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
