Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
