It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
