One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
