so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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