dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
