How'd it feel making her break her religion?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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