We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
