i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
