If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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