Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
